Coping With Tragedy

People cope with tragic experiences in many different ways. While there is no "right" way to handle traumatic events, there are things that have been found helpful for many individuals.

One thing to understand, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, is the fact that stress and grief are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. (Read about "Stress") There can be many other symptoms, varying in degree of intensity. These include:

• anxieties, confusion and irritability (Read about "Anxiety")
• sadness, crying, heightened sensitivity (Read about "Depressive Illnesses")
• fear of crowds, fear of strangers, fear of being left alone (Read about "Phobias")
• problems sleeping and eating (Read about "Sleep")
• behavioral changes (Read about "Suicide Prevention")
• alcohol and/or drug use (Read about "Alcoholism")

For young children, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) says reassurance is essential, with very young children needing a lot of cuddling, as well as verbal support. It's also important to answer questions honestly but without dwelling on frightening details.

In coping with a tragedy yourself, the American Psychological Association (APA) says it's essential to give yourself time to mourn any loss, and to acknowledge your feelings and accept that these feelings can be normal. It's also important to seek support from friends and relatives, or perhaps from local support groups. APA says try to find groups led by appropriately trained and experienced professionals. Such groups, according to APA, can help people realize that other individuals in the same circumstances often have similar reactions and emotions. It's also a good idea in times of heightened stress to avoid major life decisions such as switching careers or jobs, since such decisions can only add to stress levels.

Helping others

When helping family, friends and co-workers in the aftermath of a tragedy, individuals should also be aware of their own emotional reactions. They also need to pay close attention to their words. SAMHSA says the following are some of the things people should and shouldn't say.

Usually OK to say:

• These are normal reactions to a disaster.
• It is understandable that you feel this way.
• You are not going crazy.
• It wasn't your fault, you did the best you could.
• Things may never be the same, but they will get better, and you will feel better.

Not OK to say:

• It could have been worse.
• You can always get something to replace what you've lost.
• It's best if you just stay busy.
• I know just how you feel.
• You need to get on with your life.

Getting professional help

It's also important to recognize that sometimes professional help may be needed. The following reactions, behaviors and symptoms may indicate that it's time to call in a professional, according to APA and SAMHSA:

• Disorientation - dazed, memory loss, inability to give date or time, state where he or she is, recall events of the past 24 hours or understand what is happening
• Inability to recover - if feelings of despair persist and/or interfere with continued day-to-day functioning
• Extreme withdrawal - refusal to go to work or school, refusal to see people or leave the home
• Mental illness - hearing voices, seeing visions, delusional thinking, excessive preoccupation with an idea or thought
• Inability to care for self - not eating, bathing or changing clothes, inability to manage activities of daily living
• Suicidal or homicidal thoughts or plans, talking about suicide
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Abusive or violent behavior - domestic violence, child abuse or elder abuse (Read about "Violence & Abuse")

Related Information:

    Mental Health

    Post-Traumatic Stress

    Helping the Bereaved

    Hospice | Palliative Care

    Depressive Illnesses